Wheelhopper
Boise
Frequently Asked
Questions
Here is the Wheelhopper FAQ,
otherwise known as a bunch of garbage pertaining to the Wheelhopper Bike Hash
House Harriers of Boise, Idaho. Roughly speaking, this
document covers what to expect as a new Hound (the folks who follow the trail),
and what is expected out of our volunteer Hares (the ones who set the trail).
Go get a beer, drink it, then open up another beer, come back, and read on, fo'
shizzle:
The
Hounds
Dumb Things to Pack
What kind of bike?
The Hares will let you know what the
trail allows. If in doubt, think
knobby tires. The Hares will
specify if the trail will be road bike or cruiser friendly. But you can always show up and do what
you can with what you have...just make sure to get to the beer at the end and
all will be well.
What should I wear?
In the winter months, it's probably a
good idea to wear some polypro (or other material that won't soak up water and freeze
you) shirts and pants. Also, wear shoes that you don't mind getting
wet/muddy/bloody. The whole thing
is more fun--and safer!--if other riders can hear you out on trail, so bring a
noise maker other than your larynx. Whistles and bells will work.
Will there be natural springs
along the trail?
Maybe, but bring water anyway. We
don't provide water on the trail, so be careful to bring enough (15 miles worth
is a safe bet). Also, bring any carbo-paste gack you need. How do you guys eat
that shit?
Seriously, though, some of the places we ride would make it
difficult for a bambalance to get to you if you were to become dehydrated. As
for urban assaults, some homeowners might not take too kindly to you drinking
out of the sprinkler in their yard or Rover's water dish.
Do I need pumps, tubes, chains,
and tools in case my bike falls apart?
Yeah, you do. (Huh-huh, you said
tool!) Other folks may or may not have the tools/replacement parts you need, so
self-reliance is preferred. Be sure to check your bike at home for brake
problems, tire pressure, chain lubrication, etc. (You're all big boys and
girls; you know how important lube is!) Also, a toolkit and patchkit are
lifesavers out on trail.
Speaking of lifesavers, Dr. Doo Doo
recommends Aspirin, Ibuprofen, Tagamet, etc., however, he does not recommend
filling your Camelback bladder with white wine, at least not on a trail ride.
The annual Spring Dress Ride is another matter altogether.
How strictly is the mandatory
helmet thing enforced?
We're sticking to this pretty
tightly. We are just an informal club, but since we do accept chipped-in money
for beer/drinks/snacks, it is a legal necessity to demand that all
beer/drink/snack partakers wear a helmet. Also, certain trails we ride contain
in their bike-usage conditions helmet-mandatory clauses. Plus we would prefer
not to have to haul you to the hospital ... buzzkill. So keep your brains in
your heads so you can come ride with us again!
After the ride: semi-formal?
Formal?
Pack some dry clothes (t-shirt, socks,
shoes, and the rest) for after the ride. For A-to-B rides, pack a bag and the
greatly revered Driver of the Bag Truck (often a "Bimbo," AKA someone
who didn't ride, but who paid and will be joining us in the post-ride fun and
frolic) will make sure your dry clothes are happily awaiting your arrival at
the end.
For A-to-A
rides, you can leave your stuff at the start.
Before the Ride
6 bucks? What do I
get for it, who's getting rich off this scam?
We budget for beer, sodas (or
"Cokes" if you are actually from around here),
"malternative" beverages, and orange-colored snacks for a certain
number of people every month. Obviously, we make some guesses. Some weeks we
are able to cover costs, some weeks we aren't. Any leftover money goes to the
Beermeister's cashbox, who uses it to buy beer (etc.) for the next month's
ride. Leftover money also goes toward a fund for buying folks mugs or other
commemoratives for jubilee rides such as their 40th ride. (You must hare at
least one ride to get a mug.) None of the leftover beer or money goes to the
BeerMeister's private stash. None of the money ends up in offshore accounts.
The Ride: what are the trail
symbols?
You may see some of the following on
trail...
Trail is laid with puffs of flour. It
can be thrown on the ground, wiped on
trees, etc. While
on true trail like this,
you can usually safely cruise along without worrying
about trail
"disappearing" (veering off in weird directions, etc).
A "check" looks like a
wheel with a few spokes. When you hit one of these, trail can pick up in any
direction, and the Hare wants you to look around
and find it. After a check, a rider could encounter
a few flour marks, and think
he/she has found the trail, and then find
three lines. This is a false trail.
It means you have to go back to the check and try again. Sorry.
When true trail
is found, mark the check by dragging your foot through
the check in the direction
of trail, or place a stick pointing the
way. That way others behind you won't
have to follow the false
trail.
Even worse, the dreaded
"YBF" (you've been ...) could be encountered after a backtrack.
This also means that you have to go back to a check and look some more, but
usually you'll find this mark after trail has gone quite a long distance, possibly
up/down a major hill. Cursing the Hare's mother and/or extended ancestry,
privately or in a more publicly demonstrative way, is not inappropriate at this
point.
You might find a "check
back" on trail (like "CB5"). This means you have to go back the
specified number of flour marks and look around for true trail.
If trail crosses a road, often you'll see an
"on-over." This
means cross the road and pick up trail on the other side.
Often, we have long and short trail
options. At a split, there should be two arrows --- one with an "T"
next to it, and one with an "E" next to it.
If trails
re-merge, follow the arrows.
If you've done all of this properly,
you should find after an hour or so.
Beer is Near, so pick it up on that last uphill!
The Bloody Aftermath: What
indecencies will I be exposed to?
You'll see.
The
Hares
Where can I find a Good Trail?
Ridge to Rivers, bike shops, internet
resources, guidebooks, maps. Or
ask the group – we'll help you out.
How do I make it a
"Hash"?
Some Trail Basics
The trail is the main reason we come
out to ride so you need to put some effort into this part. Try to have short
and long options ... hashers can be biking beginners
or racers, so it's
good to give people options.
Here are some basic trail length
guidelines:
Length: Turkey - 5-10 miles, Eagle - 10-20 miles
Make the trail interesting by using
checks at ambiguous spots along the way.
When merging short and long trails,
always lay flour arrows to point the way. This will avoid endless
loops. It is OK if you split the trails into Short and Long versions and
merge again multiple times.
When in doubt, it's best to throw
more flour than less.
Can I change the start date I
signed up for?
No. So if you can't Hare on your
appointed date, please let the HareRaiser
know ASAP, for understandable reasons.
Get Permission, if necessary
It really is unpleasant if the
hash gets chased off land by a shotgun-wielding
property-owner, and even
less so if we get manacled by the police*, so make
sure you have
permission to have a bike ride. Also, make sure beer and hashers
are allowed at the ending location, and that we all won't get towed from
the
start. You might be able to start the trail in, or pass
though, a park that
does not allow beer, but end the trail outside the
park, where we can discreetly
enjoy our beer and camaraderie.
*If
you want to get manacled on your own time, that's your business.
Parking space for the Start
The start point may need parking
spaces for hounds. Notify the HareRaiser
of and provide detailed directions to this start point location by the Monday
prior to the ride.
An Accessible Ending
For A-to-B hashes, the ending point
should be accessible by the beer-mobile.
Buy Some Flour
The Hare is responsible for flour.
Set the Damn Thing
Get out there and lay the
trail. It takes a while to ride and
throw flour, so don't start
late and run out of time. It helps to have a co-Hare
to carry
flour, help set the check-points, and set the alternate loops for Short
or Long trails.
The
Mismanagement
Who are these rejects?
The Mismanagement are made up of a
few of us who foolishly return, month after month, to ride the Wheelhopper Hash
rides. Even after haring more than
our share of the rides we still
can't get enough.
BeerMeister
BeerMeister manages the beer for
endings at parks and homes, and provides advice for good pubs for endings. Volunteer for BeerMeister.
HashCash
The HashCash takes your money and pays
the BeerMeister and keeps the records. Volunteer for HashCash.
HareRaiser
The HareRaiser is responsible for
raising Hares, making sure we have rides each month. HareRaiser sends out
the directions for the next ride by email and
updates the website with
information about the upcoming ride(s).
WheelMattress and WheelMaster
Our reigning WheelMattress and
WheelMaster, Purple Peter Eater and Boob Teaser, are
assisted by the
other Mismanagement in leading the brief Down-Down ceremonies at the end of
each ride. Currently, they are
also 'responsible' for BeerMeister, HashCash, and HareRaiser. But jump in and help out as the group
grows.
These
titular positions round out the current Mismanagement.